Lead Off with a Question When you reach out to someone that interests you, make sure to ask an open-ended question. For example, just saying “hi” doesn’t give them a lot to work with, but asking them a question about a point in their profile gives them a topic to jump-start the conversation. If you see that they have traveled to a place you would love to see, consider asking them about their experience. Or, if they like a musical genre that you are into, see if they have any local bands to recommend (which also segues into a great first date idea). Don’t be afraid to get creative when you ask, just make sure that it gets the conversation going in a positive direction. Include Quirky Facts about Yourself Don’t be afraid to let your true self come through. If you have an interest in learning archery, love 70s kung fu films, or simply can’t say no to egg roll appetizers, throw in that tidbit. Why should you do it? It helps separate you from the pack. And, if a relationship is going to last, they need to appreciate you for everything you are, quirks included. Don’t Lie about Your Age If you lie about your age, and the relationship moves forward, your falsehood will come out. That, and there just isn’t much of a point to hiding your age. Would you really want to be with someone who gets bent out of shape because of your age? Probably not, so lead off with the truth and avoid a mess of trouble later. Don’t Play Unnecessary Games A lot of people think they need to follow a set of rules regarding when they should respond to a message from someone. If someone sends a message, answer back when it is convenient. And, if the conversation is going well, feel free to write back and forth at whatever rate works for you. Just remember that everyone’s life is a little different, so don’t get upset automatically if you don’t get replies right away. Be Yourself Some people are tempted to change who they appear to be when trying to attract someone new. While small adjustments might be fine, totally changing a key component of who you are will be hard to keep up. If you are hoping for a long-term relationship, it is better to be forward about your interests, profession, and personality, as faking it can become harder over time. Tell Someone Where You Will Be If you decide to meet up with someone you met online, make sure someone else knows where you will be. Schedule the date for a public place, and drive yourself to the location. While most people aren’t going to pose a threat, it is better to play it safe than to be sorry. Don’t Lie about Your History While you don’t have to divulge every detail, if your date begins to become “intimate” it is important to have the conversation about your health and history. STD testing is readily available, so make sure you get yourself checked regularly, especially if you have new or multiple partners. And, if you aren’t comfortable asking your potential partner about their status, maybe it is better to wait until the relationship is further along to cross into this territory.
